WARNING: YOU ALL JANGAN TERGEZUT BACE POST NI. I MEMANG NAK CONFESS.
TAGS: PEOPLE RELATED TO MY CONFESSIONS.
lame giler i tak datang sini.
bukan ape. lately, i memang sebok sesangat.
keje kat opis tu cam tak abis jek...
semak lak mate ni...
ok. like the title said, i nak confess.
*muka ketat*
i TELAH pon retire dari jadik kpop fangirl.
*ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh???????????*
ye ye. uols.
ape yang uols bace tadi terSANGAT-SANGAT lah betul.
*wae wae waeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee????????????*
this is because i dah kembali ke arah music yang selame ni i dok dengar.
selame SETAHUN i sumbatkan telinga i nih dengan lagu-lagu kpop.
uols tengok i nampak cam enjoys jek.
but the truth is, i don't.
i was struggling to make myself excepting kpop songs.
ade few songs yang i leh terima. but mostly NOT ACCEPTABLE.
most songs are from FT Island.
tu pon sebab diorang band. not group.
but honestly speaking like from the bottom of my heart, i began to loose faith in FT Island.
I DON'T KNOW WHY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW.
maybe sebab my heart was craving something more.
maybe sebab my heart was screaming for something more.
dulu, i hanye listen to rock music.
yang jenis menjerit separuh mati sampai nak terkeluar anak tekak tu.
uols tau kan what type of rock music???
i akan dengar lagu-lagu pop bile bosan.
pastu i dengar balik lagu rock.
tapi dulu i dengar english rock.
MCR, Good Charlotte, Linkin Park, Evanescence, Simple Plan, Sum 41, Blink 182, Pretty Reckless and a lot more yang i dah lupe name-name dey all.
*cakap pasal MCR, sume lagu dey all i hafal.*
i dah lupe pon sebab dah setahun i tak dengar dey all.
i ni jenis pelupa. memang lah tersangat retard i nih.
oh ye. i pernah cakap yang i benci kpop and kpop nih ntah pape.
tapi i tak ingat kat ne and pada sape.
tapi i suke nengok drama korea. fufufu~
tuuuuuuuuuuuuu jek bab korea yang i suke selain fashion dey all.
bab music memang i 100% boh-layan.
tapi tu dulu. sekarang i dah boleh terima.
sikit jek lah. yang telinga ni kate ok, i dengar.
lau tak, sorry....
now i minat dengar jrock pulaks. especially visual kei.
dulu i tak suke visual kei. sebab i rase diorang cam freaks.
especially fashion they all.
but after i studied fashion, i found out that fashion is so various and wide and unique.
then i mula suke kat weird fashions like japanese street styles, lolitas, gothic lolitas.
dulu i dengar gak jrock but disebabkan source to listen jrock dulu tak de, so agak terbatas sikit acknowledgement i pasal jrock.
kat local radio mane ade orang putar lagu jrock?
only thru internet. dulu i mane lah ade internet-internet nih...
i dulu buta IT. satu hapa pon tak tau. computer pon tak de tau.
so dari kecik lagi i dengar english radio jek.
mane dengar radio malay...
*i cakap no class. hohoho~~ sorry..*
so sekarang nih i i found something i should like lame dulu.
nape lah kat mesia nih tak de radio khas bukak lagu jrock/visual kei?
erm... if uols tau ade, inform lah pade i.
leh kite sesame meriahkan jrock/visual kei scene and spazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~~
fufufu~~
ok. uols ade bace yang i loose faith on FTIsland, right?
Actually, it's more like losing faith on him.
that guy yang i dok puja-puja separuh mati.
i tak moh citer why. uols nak tau, we can do private messages.
this is not something i want to talk publicly.
i dah penat dah pasal dia nih. TOTALLY BEATED.
one of my lovely sis kt FB ade tanye i pasal ni and i let it out.
but not all. sebab i tak sanggup.
nak citer pasal tu pon i dah rase sebak.
TRULY APOLOGIZES FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
and i dah lame tak dengar lagu FTIsland.
like SERIOUSLY.
i langsung tak tau ape dah jadik kat dey all, langsung tak alert.
because right now i am catching up with WHAT I HAVE LEFT BEFORE I ENTERED KPOP WORLD.
and there's a gathering for FT Island fans bulan ni.
invitation from my dongsaeng, Jin Ah.
I was attending it but now, i tarik diri.
wae?
I GOT MY OWN REASON. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OTHER PRIS (or maybe? i dunno)
BUT I DON'T THINK I'M SUITABLE TO BE IN THE CROWD.
I DON'T BELONG THERE ANYMORE.
I'M NOT A HARDCORE PRIMADONNA I USED TO.
OR I THINK I WAS.
I HOPE UOLS UNDERSTAND.
I MINTAK MAAF BEBANYAK SEBAB BANYAK MENYUSAHKAN UOLS.
BUT I THINK IT'S BETTER NOW THAN LATER.
DAKARA...
i nak apologizes kat sume kpop friends i esp kat FB and Twitter.
i tak nak tipu diri i yang i suke giler vavi kat kpop padahal, tak bape suke dah.
(ok maybe just few jek yang i suke but maybe not as before)
AND I TAK NAK TIPU KAT UOLS AND PRETEND WE CAN GET ALONG VERY WELL.
in terms of kpop that is.
i kenal ramai friends thru kpop.
that's one GREAT thing about kpop. i WONT deny it.
but this is somehow has becoming like a HUGE burden for me.
i can't split myself into two different person.
oh, ni Ija yang suke kpop. pastu ni Ija yang suke slain kpop.
NO!
and if uols cakap, why not mix it all together?
i'm so so sorry my darlings. that's not gonna happen.
so pade uols yang follow me kat twitter, if you feels like UNFOLLOWing me after this, be my guess.
i tak kisah. i tak pakse uols follow i. i jek yang suke follow orang.
and to those yang added me as your friend in FB (to kpop friends), jeongmal mianhae if lepas ni (actually dah lame start dah) i banyak post pasal crap stuff and jrock/visual kei stuff kat wall uols.
jangan tergezut suda yek.
uols ignore jek i atau un-friend dengan i.
*waahhhh sedey nye. i hope uols tak un-friend ngan i.*
if uols still with me, [means tak UN-FRIEND and tak UNFOLLOW i]
jangan la senyap jek.
please TALK TO ME.
because i paling benci when someone ignoring me.
and i'm afraid of being ALONE.
actually, past few days ni, my emotions is so mixed up.
i'm feeling so emo.
i nangis jek all night. (i banyak nangis pasal GUY tu.)
and i takut i akan hilang kawan lepas ni.
LEPAS I'M BACK TO WHOM I WAS BEFORE KPOP.
i rase ni entry i yang paling panjang.
or maybe not.
i tak ingat dah.
TAPI, I MINTAK MAAF, SORRY, MIANHAE, GOMENASAI TO UOLS SEBAB I TOTALLY CAN'T TAKE THIS BURDEN ANYMORE.
now i'm just a regular music liker to kpop.
or maybe after this i'll be totally out of kpop.
WE'LL SEE. ONLY TIME WOULD TELL.
by the way, boley tak uols call me RISA pas ni. ^w^
it's taken from my real name just i changed Z to S. Riza cam dah biase sangat and ramai orang pakai.
i suke yang less people use. ohoy~!!
and lagi satu.
ok, memang banyak stuff pasal kpop esp FTIsland dalam blog i nih.
maybe there will be some changes.
and there will be stuff yang i takkan tukar. just let it be.
again, I DON'T HATE KPOP. I JUST LIKE IT LESS THAN BEFORE.
KPOP IS NOT SOMETHING I LOATHE.
SO PLEASE, DON'T BASH ME.
xoxo
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