confession of a broken heart.

WARNING: YOU ALL JANGAN TERGEZUT BACE POST NI. I MEMANG NAK CONFESS.
TAGS: PEOPLE RELATED TO MY CONFESSIONS.


lame giler i tak datang sini.
bukan ape. lately, i memang sebok sesangat.
keje kat opis tu cam tak abis jek...
semak lak mate ni...
ok. like the title said, i nak confess.
*muka ketat*
i TELAH pon retire dari jadik kpop fangirl.
*ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh???????????*
ye ye. uols.
ape yang uols bace tadi terSANGAT-SANGAT lah betul.
*wae wae waeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee????????????*
this is because i dah kembali ke arah music yang selame ni i dok dengar.
selame SETAHUN i sumbatkan telinga i nih dengan lagu-lagu kpop.
uols tengok i nampak cam enjoys jek.
but the truth is, i don't.
i was struggling to make myself excepting kpop songs.
ade few songs yang i leh terima. but mostly NOT ACCEPTABLE.
most songs are from FT Island.
tu pon sebab diorang band. not group.
but honestly speaking like from the bottom of my heart, i began to loose faith in FT Island.
I DON'T KNOW WHY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW.
maybe sebab my heart was craving something more.
maybe sebab my heart was screaming for something more.
dulu, i hanye listen to rock music.
yang jenis menjerit separuh mati sampai nak terkeluar anak tekak tu.
uols tau kan what type of rock music???
i akan dengar lagu-lagu pop bile bosan.
pastu i dengar balik lagu rock.
tapi dulu i dengar english rock.
MCR, Good Charlotte, Linkin Park, Evanescence, Simple Plan, Sum 41, Blink 182, Pretty Reckless and a lot more yang i dah lupe name-name dey all.
*cakap pasal MCR, sume lagu dey all i hafal.*
i dah lupe pon sebab dah setahun i tak dengar dey all.
i ni jenis pelupa. memang lah tersangat retard i nih.
oh ye. i pernah cakap yang i benci kpop and kpop nih ntah pape.
tapi i tak ingat kat ne and pada sape.
tapi i suke nengok drama korea. fufufu~
tuuuuuuuuuuuuu jek bab korea yang i suke selain fashion dey all.
bab music memang i 100% boh-layan.
tapi tu dulu. sekarang i dah boleh terima.
sikit jek lah. yang telinga ni kate ok, i dengar.
lau tak, sorry....
now i minat dengar jrock pulaks. especially visual kei.
dulu i tak suke visual kei. sebab i rase diorang cam freaks.
especially fashion they all.
but after i studied fashion, i found out that fashion is so various and wide and unique.
then i mula suke kat weird fashions like japanese street styles, lolitas, gothic lolitas.
dulu i dengar gak jrock but disebabkan source to listen jrock dulu tak de, so agak terbatas sikit acknowledgement i pasal jrock.
kat local radio mane ade orang putar lagu jrock?
only thru internet. dulu i mane lah ade internet-internet nih...
i dulu buta IT. satu hapa pon tak tau. computer pon tak de tau.
so dari kecik lagi i dengar english radio jek.
mane dengar radio malay...
*i cakap no class. hohoho~~ sorry..*
so sekarang nih i i found something i should like lame dulu.
nape lah kat mesia nih tak de radio khas bukak lagu jrock/visual kei?
erm... if uols tau ade, inform lah pade i.
leh kite sesame meriahkan jrock/visual kei scene and spazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~~
fufufu~~


ok. uols ade bace yang i loose faith on FTIsland, right?
Actually, it's more like losing faith on him.
that guy yang i dok puja-puja separuh mati.
i tak moh citer why. uols nak tau, we can do private messages.
this is not something i want to talk publicly.
i dah penat dah pasal dia nih. TOTALLY BEATED.
one of my lovely sis kt FB ade tanye i pasal ni and i let it out.
but not all. sebab i tak sanggup.
nak citer pasal tu pon i dah rase sebak.
TRULY APOLOGIZES FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
and i dah lame tak dengar lagu FTIsland.
like SERIOUSLY.
i langsung tak tau ape dah jadik kat dey all, langsung tak alert.
because right now i am catching up with WHAT I HAVE LEFT BEFORE I ENTERED KPOP WORLD.
and there's a gathering for FT Island fans bulan ni.
invitation from my dongsaeng, Jin Ah.
I was attending it but now, i tarik diri.
wae?
I GOT MY OWN REASON. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OTHER PRIS (or maybe? i dunno)
BUT I DON'T THINK I'M SUITABLE TO BE IN THE CROWD.
I DON'T BELONG THERE ANYMORE.
I'M NOT A HARDCORE PRIMADONNA I USED TO.
OR I THINK I WAS.
I HOPE UOLS UNDERSTAND. 
I MINTAK MAAF BEBANYAK SEBAB BANYAK MENYUSAHKAN UOLS.
BUT I THINK IT'S BETTER NOW THAN LATER.


DAKARA...
i nak apologizes kat sume kpop friends i esp kat FB and Twitter.
i tak nak tipu diri i yang i suke giler vavi kat kpop padahal, tak bape suke dah.
(ok maybe just few jek yang i suke but maybe not as before)
AND I TAK NAK TIPU KAT UOLS AND PRETEND WE CAN GET ALONG VERY WELL.
in terms of kpop that is.
i kenal ramai friends thru kpop.
that's one GREAT thing about kpop. i WONT deny it.
but this is somehow has becoming like a HUGE burden for me.
i can't split myself into two different person.
oh, ni Ija yang suke kpop. pastu ni Ija yang suke slain kpop.
NO!
and if uols cakap, why not mix it all together?
i'm so so sorry my darlings. that's not gonna happen.
so pade uols yang follow me kat twitter, if you feels like UNFOLLOWing me after this, be my guess.
i tak kisah. i tak pakse uols follow i. i jek yang suke follow orang.
and to those yang added me as your friend in FB (to kpop friends), jeongmal mianhae if lepas ni (actually dah lame start dah) i banyak post pasal crap stuff and jrock/visual kei stuff kat wall uols.
jangan tergezut suda yek.
uols ignore jek i atau un-friend dengan i.
*waahhhh sedey nye. i hope uols tak un-friend ngan i.*
if uols still with me, [means tak UN-FRIEND and tak UNFOLLOW i]
jangan la senyap jek.
please TALK TO ME.
because i paling benci when someone ignoring me.
and i'm afraid of being ALONE.
actually, past few days ni, my emotions is so mixed up.
i'm feeling so emo.
i nangis jek all night. (i banyak nangis pasal GUY tu.)
and i takut i akan hilang kawan lepas ni.
LEPAS I'M BACK TO WHOM I WAS BEFORE KPOP.


i rase ni entry i yang paling panjang.
or maybe not. 
i tak ingat dah.
TAPI, I MINTAK MAAF, SORRY, MIANHAE, GOMENASAI TO UOLS SEBAB I TOTALLY CAN'T TAKE THIS BURDEN ANYMORE.
now i'm just a regular music liker to kpop.
or maybe after this i'll be totally out of kpop.
WE'LL SEE. ONLY TIME WOULD TELL.

by the way, boley tak uols call me RISA pas ni. ^w^
it's taken from my real name just i changed Z to S. Riza cam dah biase sangat and ramai orang pakai.
i suke yang less people use. ohoy~!!
and lagi satu.
ok, memang banyak stuff pasal kpop esp FTIsland dalam blog i nih.
maybe there will be some changes.
and there will be stuff yang i takkan tukar. just let it be.
again, I DON'T HATE KPOP. I JUST LIKE IT LESS THAN BEFORE.
KPOP IS NOT SOMETHING I LOATHE.
SO PLEASE, DON'T BASH ME.
xoxo

my sunday's getaway 2

hahahaha~~~
tadi i lupe lah nak gi tau..
tadi kat mid valley i tengok citer nih~~

"all for one and one for all"

memng gile best citer nih~~!!

tak rugi tengok~!!

hopefully ade sequel ♥♥♥

i suke sangat kat ARTHOS. tatau nape... kekekeke~~~

Ok tu jek...

Daaa~~^^

my sunday's getaway

today, i tak tgk Kiki perform. yesterday jek.

cuz last night i sleepover kat umah bestie i, cik amy kat salak south.

pastu today kitorang pi Mid Valley.

and i beli selai baju and selai seluar.

uols nak tau, masuk ni dah empat helai clothes i beli dalam mase tiga hari.

TIGA HARI TAU!!

leh bankrap i pas ni.

i'm so so broke by the end of this month~!!! >,<

kononnye nak bayaq PTPTN bulan nih...

HAMPESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~~~~~~~~~~~

no meaning lau dah duit tinggal parat idung. 

i nak bli album FT Island yang paling latest » Memory In FTIsland

*╥ ╥ yang album RETURN tu pon tak bli lagi....*

i dah download the digital album they all nih...

*secara SAH ye... no piracy~~~ (^_<)*

» CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD «

but they all said lau nak FT Island memang dalam music show [like MNet Countdown, Music Bank, Music Core & Inkigayo] kene wat legal downloads and buy the album that counts into the chart~^^

i dah tau few FB online kpop shop yang jual album yang akan di kira dalam carta ♥

but i can only buy next month after my paycheck.

skung i memang dah broke, bankrap cam MC Hammer.

tu pon sebab i beli FT Island light stick yang baru.

╥ ╥ light stick yang lame tu tmpat bateri nyer penutup dah ilang...

ngan bateri2 skali... i baru jek beli bateri tu ari konsert tuuuu~~~~ ╥ ╥ 

erm... nampaknye i kene wat money plan nih~!!!

barang yang i nak beli:-

» RETURN album

» MEMORY IN FTISLAND album

» LCD watch FT Island (considering)

» BAG

» MARY JANE

actually ade lagi tapi i dah lupe...

hikhikhik~~~

Daaaa~~ ♥♥♥

Lee Hong Ki, i memang tersangat-sangatlah sayang kat you tau~!! 

Jagiya berlakon lagi » Noriko Goes To Seoul

Ok, despite that he's not replying my tweets. ╥  ╥
still, he's my namja chingu!! ♥♥♥
so during the middle of this year, my baby berlakon lagik^^
it's for KBS special movie.
i tak dpt tgk kat channel KBS sebab it's KBS 2TV.
yang ade kat Astro (ngok ngek) ni just KBS WORLD. >,<
so i terpakse tunggu sampai ade yang upload subbed video untuk drama baby i nih~~~ ;p
now, i just finished watching!
the title is NORIKO GOES TO SEOUL.
very touching story!
baby nangis, i pon nangis same!
so korang MUST, MESTI, HARUS, WAJIB tengok!!! XDD
here's the link to watch it ^^

» CLICK HERE «

these are some of the pics of the show yang i nak share. ^______^

teaser poster ^^

Kim Min Ha sedang kusyuk practice ^_^

"Call me master~!!"

owhh~~!! my dream guitar~~!! 

please stop taking my pictures~~!! i'm not Lee Hong Ki y'kow~~!!

annyeonghaseyo~~!! jeoneun Kim Min Ha imnida ^^

Min Ha nak kuar dating ngan ahjumma~~??

aku nak lima juta won. bukan satu~~

err... len kali aku cas lebih sket yek.. nih tak bape nak cukup ah~~!!

air~~!! air~~!! tercekik dah nih~!!

yeboseyo, babe, i tgh busy ajar ahjumma nih nyanyik, i jumpe u kat umah yek~~

lagu ni saye tujukan khas wat chenta hari saye, my princess ai ♥

ermm... balik nanti nak makan ape yek?? lapo dah pewot nih~~

ape lah baby aku wat skung nih~~?? mesej aku tak balas2 lagik nih~~ pulak aku kene anta si ahjumma nih~~

baby nengok aku camnih mesti dia cair punyer~~!!

DISCLAIMER:-

» pics source taken from internet so credits to the uploader(s) ^^

» all the captions are self-made and had nothing to do with original content of the drama. well.. maybe one or two *no offence ;P*

Gotta say, memang rugi tak tengok cuz it's my KIKI~~!!! ♥♥♥

should i say more~~???

jalan citer memang daebak~~!!!

Kiki is the reason i'm alive ♥

Saturday's Blues

Ari ni uri princess ai bangun sikit punye awal.
4.30 pagi dowh.....
hohohohohoho~~~~
ape lah yang dibuatnye bangun awal sangat...
oh ye... last nite i tido awal. 9.30 dah dozzed off.
bukan pe... lately nih, penat sangat-sangat. mengantuk pon ye...
tapi, i sedey la...
hubby i tu...
tweet orang len dia balas.
tweet i nih~~~~ ntah bile la dia nak reply..
jagiya! u ni melampau lah! sikit pon u tak kasi tunjuk yang u sayang i!
i tau lah... u tak mo nak kecoh... but at least... mmmm~~~
tak pe lah... u tak nak balas kan... i pon x leh nak pakse...
skung ni pon dah kul 12:12 pm
i pon tak mandi lagik...




benci ahh~~!!!